Internet World

1. When I go in I might cause pain. I cause you to spit and ask you not to swallow. I can fill your hole. What am I?

2. A finger goes in me. You fiddle with me when you're bored. The best man always has me first. What am I?

3. I'm spread before I'm eaten. Your tongue gets me off. People sometimes like to lick my nuts. What am I?

4. I go in hard. I come out soft. You blow me hard . What am I?

5. All day long it's in and out. I discharge loads from my shaft. Both men and women go down on me. What am I?

6. I come in many sizes. When I'm not well, I drip. When You blow me you feel good. What am I?

7. If I miss, I hit your bush. It's my job to stuff your box. When I come, it's news. What am I?

8. I offer protection. I get the finger ten times. You use your fingers to get me off. What am I?

9. I assist an erection. Sometimes big balls hang from me. I'm called a big swinger. What am I?

10. I'm at least 6 inches long. I leave foamy lubrication when engaged in my job. What am I?

Go down to see answers!

Answers:

1. a dentist
2. a wedding ring
3. peanut butter
4.chewing gum
5. an elevator
6. a nose
7. a newspaper boy
8. a glove
9. a crane
10. a toothbrush, of course!

Crazy Japan Prank!!!!!!

2007-04-25T05:39:00.000-07:00

Please leave a comment

State of the Union 2006 -- Bush Impression

2007-04-24T14:32:00.000-07:00

Please leave a comment !

Bush Impressions comedy

2007-04-24T14:30:00.000-07:00

Please leave a comment !

Bush sings U2

2007-04-24T14:29:00.000-07:00

Please leave a comment !

George Bush is funny

2007-04-24T14:28:00.000-07:00

Please leave a comment !

George W Bush - American Idiot

2007-04-24T14:27:00.000-07:00

Please leave a comment !

Top 10 George W. Bush Moments

2007-04-24T14:25:00.000-07:00

Please leave a comment !

Great Moments In Presidential Speeches Compilation

2007-04-24T14:18:00.000-07:00

Please leave a comment !

Bush & Condolezza Comedy Spoof

2007-04-24T14:12:00.000-07:00

Please leave a comment !

Top 10 Reasons to Go to Work Naked

2007-04-24T13:48:00.001-07:00

10. No one ever steals your chair.

9. Gives "bad hair day" a whole new meaning.

8. Diverts attention from the fact that you also came to work drunk.

7. People stop stealing your pens after they've seen where you keep them.

6. You want to see if it's like the dream.

5. To stop those creepy programmer guys from looking down your blouse.

4. "I'd love to chip in... but I left my wallet in my pants."

3. Inventive way to finally meet that 'special' person in Human Resources.

2. Can take advantage of your computer monitor radiation to work on your tan.

1. Your boss will never say, "I wanna see your ass in here by 8:00!" ever again.

Microslave

2007-04-24T13:42:00.000-07:00

Please leave a comment for this photo !

Answers

2007-04-24T13:37:00.000-07:00

What is the difference between Michael Jackson and a grocery bag?
One is made of plastic and is dangerous for children to play with.... the other is used to carry groceries.

What do you get when you cross an Owl and a Rooster?
A cock that stays up all night.

How can you tell a Sumo wrestler from a feminist?
A Sumo wrestler shaves his legs.

What's six inches long that women love?
Folding money.

What is the difference between erotic and kinky?
Erotic is using a feather....kinky is using the whole chicken.

What do cow pats and cowgirls have in common?
The older they get the easier they are to pick up.

How can you tell if your girlfriend's frigid?
When you open her legs the lights go on.

When does a cub become a boy scout?
When he eats his first Brownie.

Did you hear about the 150 lb. man who had 75 lb. testicles?
He was half nuts!!!

Which sexual position produces the ugliest children?
Ask your mom.

What did the cannibal do after he dumped his girlfriend?
Wiped his ass.

How can you tell if you're at a bulimic bachelor party?
The cake jumps out of the girl.

What do you call a prostitute with a runny nose?
Full.

What's the difference between oral sex and anal sex?
Oral sex makes your day, anal sex makes your hole weak.

What does a woman and Kentucky Fried Chicken have in common?
By the time you're finished with the breast and thighs, all you have
left is the greasy box to put your bone in.

How are tornadoes and marriage alike?
They both begin with a lot of sucking and blowing, and in the end you
lose your house.

What do you call two skunks that are 69ing?
Odor eaters.

What is the difference between snowmen and snowwomen?
Snowballs.

Why do women have vaginas?
So men will talk to them.

Why do only 30% of men get into Heaven?
If it were more, it would be Hell.

Why don't women have any brains?
Because they don't have penises to keep them in.

Why did the bald man cut holes in his pockets?
So he could run his fingers through his hair.

Whats the difference between a microwave and a woman.
A microwave doesn't scream when you put a piece of meat in it.

Did you hear about the Chinese couple that had a retarded baby?
They named him Sum Ting Wong.

What did one saggy boob say to the other saggy boob?
If we don't get some support soon, people are going to think we're nuts.

Why is being in the military like a blow-job?
The closer you get to discharge, the better you feel.

Dictionary

2007-04-24T13:28:00.000-07:00

Wants & needs (wontz and nedz) n.
female: The delicate balance of emotional, physical and psychological longing one seeks to have fulfilled in a relationship.
male: Food, sex and beer.

Thingy (thing-ee) n.
female: Any part under a car's hood.
male: The strapfastener on a woman's bra.

Lesbian (lez-bi-an) n.
female: A woman who makes love to other women.
male: A woman who has sex with other women so men can watch and get really turned on.

Glass ceiling (glas see-ling) n.
female: The invisible barrier that stops women from rising to the upper levels in business.
male: What would really be great at work since that hot babe took over the office one flight up.

Vulnerable (vul-ne-ra-bel) adj.
female: Fully opening up one's self emotionally to another.
male: Playing ball without a cup.

Communication (ko-myoo-ni-kay-shon) n.
female: The open sharing of thoughts and feelings with one's partner.
male: Scratching out a note before suddenly taking off for a weekend with the guys.

Butt (but) n.
female: The body part that every item of clothing manufactured makes "look bigger."
male: The organ of mooning (and farting).

Commitment (ko-mit-ment) n.
female: A desire to get married and raise a family.
male: Not trying to pick up other women while out with one's girlfriend.

Entertainment (en-ter-tayn-ment) n.
female: A good movie, concert, play or book.
male: Anything with one ball, two folds, or three stooges.

Flatulence (flach-u-lens) n.
female: An embarrassing byproduct of digestion.
male: An endless source of enterainment, self-expression and male bonding.

Making love (may-king luv) n.
female: The greatest expression of intimacy a couple can achieve.
male: What men have to call "boinking" to get women to boink.

Remote control (ri-moht kon-trohl) n.
female: A device for changing from one TV channel to another.
male: A device for scanning through all 75 channels every 2 1/2 minutes.

Taste (tayst) v.
female: Something you do frequently to whatever you're cooking, to make sure it's good.
male: Something you must do to anything you think has gone bad, prior to tossing it out.

30 years ago

2007-04-24T13:22:00.001-07:00

30 years ago
1972: Long hair
2002: Longing for hair

1972: The perfect high
2002: The perfect high yield mutual fund

1972: KEG
2002: EKG

1972: Acid rock
2002: Acid reflux

1972: Moving to California because it's cool
2002: Moving to California because it's warm

1972: Growing pot
2002: Growing pot belly

1972: Trying to look like Marlon Brando or Liz Taylor
2002: Trying NOT to look like Marlon Brando or Liz Taylor

1972: Seeds and stems
2002: Roughage

1972: Popping pills, smoking joints
2002: Popping joints

1972: Killer weed
2002: Weed killer

1972: Hoping for a BMW
2002: Hoping for a BM

1972: The Grateful Dead
2002: Dr. Kevorkian

1972: Screw the system
2002: Upgrade the system

1972: Disco
2002: Costco

1972: Parents begging you to get your hair cut
2002: Children begging you to get their heads shaved

1972: Taking acid
2002: Taking antacid

1972: Whatever
2002: Depends

The pharmacist

2007-04-24T13:19:00.000-07:00

A man walks into a pharmacy and asks for a pack of condoms. As soon as he has paid for them, he starts laughing and walks out.

The next day, the same performance, with the man walking out laughing fit to bust. The chemist thinks this odd and asks his assistant, that if the man returns, to follow him. Sure enough, he comes into the store the next day, repeating his actions once more. The assistant duly follows. Half an hour later, he returns.

"So did you follow him?" ask the chemist.

"I did", replied the assistant.

"And...where did he go?"

"Over to your house..."

Numbers equal zero

2007-04-24T13:14:00.000-07:00

Numbers equal zero

Theorem : All numbers are equal to zero.

Proof:
Suppose that a=b.

Then
a = b
a^2 = ab
a^2 - b^2 = ab - b^2
(a + b)(a - b) = b(a - b)
a + b = b
a = 0

Dollars equal ten cents

2007-04-24T13:12:00.000-07:00

Dollars equal ten cents

Theorem: 1$ = 10 cent

Proof:

We know that $1 = 100 cents

Divide both sides by 100

$ 1/100 = 100/100 cents
=> $ 1/100 = 1 cent

Take square root both side
=> squr($1/100) = squr (1 cent)
=> $ 1/10 = 1 cent

Multiply both side by 10
=> $1 = 10 cent
______________

Theorem: All numbers are equal.

2007-04-24T13:09:00.000-07:00

Theorem: All numbers are equal.

Proof:

Choose arbitrary a and b, and let t = a + b. Then

a + b = t
(a + b)(a - b) = t(a - b)
a^2 - b^2 = ta - tb
a^2 - ta = b^2 - tb
a^2 - ta + (t^2)/4 = b^2 - tb + (t^2)/4
(a - t/2)^2 = (b - t/2)^2
a - t/2 = b - t/2
a = b

So all numbers are the same, and math is pointless.

New pricing structure for referrals

2007-04-17T14:15:00.001-07:00

New pricing structure for referrals

Last year we asked you for your feedback on referrals, and one of the issues we heard quite frequently was that it was too difficult to generate revenue with AdSense and AdWords referrals. To address this, we've just introduced a new pricing structure for both programs, which will be as follows:

AdSense Referrals:

When a publisher who signed up for Google AdSense through your referral earns their first $5 within 180 days of sign-up, you will be credited with $5.
When that same publisher earns $100 within 180 days of sign-up and is eligible for payment, you will be credited with an additional $250.
If, in any 180-day period, you refer 25 publishers who each earn more than $100 within 180 days of their respective sign-ups and are all eligible for payout, you will be awarded a $2,000 bonus (bonus payouts are limited to 1 per year).

AdWords Referrals:

When an advertiser you refer spends $5 within 90 days of sign-up (in addition to the $5 sign-up fee) you will be credited with $5.
When that same advertiser spends $100 within 90 days of sign-up, you will be credited with an additional $40.
If, in any 180 day period, you refer 20 advertisers who each spend more than $100 within 90 days of their respective sign-ups, you will be awarded a $600 bonus (bonus payments are limited to 1 per year).

These rules will also apply to users that you have already referred but who have not yet reached one of the new earning/spend thresholds. For example, if you referred an AdSense publisher who has currently earned $2.00, you will be paid $5.00 if that publisher reaches the $5.00 mark. But, if you have referred an AdSense publisher who has already earned $10.00, you will not be paid $5.00 retroactively for that referral reaching the $5.00 mark. However, should that publisher eventually reach the $100.00 earnings mark within 180 days, you will be paid $250.00.

150 Highest Paying Adsense Keywords

2007-04-17T14:04:00.000-07:00

1 mesothelioma
2 cheap auto insurance
3 consolidate student loan
4 life insurance quote
5 cheap car insurance
6 refinance home
7 car insurance quote
8 refinancing
9 online car insurance
10 online insurance quotes
11 criminal defense lawyer
12 debt consolidation
13 refinance home mortgage
14 medical malpractice lawyer Michigan
15 bad credit home loan
16 loan refinance
17 tax attorney
18 online insurance quote
19 laptop data recovery
20 medical malpractice Michigan
21 car insurance rates
22 equity home loan
23 register domain name
24 data recovery service
25 life insurance rates
26 auto insurance rates
27 cheapest car insurance
28 domain register
29 dui attorney
30 lawyer medical malpractice
31 home loan
32 credit card consolidation
33 car accident lawyer
34 free debt consolidation
35 car insurance
36 term life insurance
37 second mortgage
38 hard drive data recovery
39 dui lawyer
40 refinance leads
41 raid data recovery
42 home loans
43 mortgage loan leads
44 refinance
45 mortgage internet leads
46 domain registration
47 credit card debt consolidation
48 low rate mortgage
49 mortgages
50 fitness franchise
51 debt consolidator
52 california home loan
53 medical malpractice new york
54 credit card machines
55 digital asset management
56 malpractice attorney
57 help desk software
58 criminal defense attorney
59 domain names
60 mortgage loan
61 accept credit cards
62 mortgage broker leads
63 best mortgage rate
64 online credit card processing
65 personal injury lawyer
66 mesothelioma attorney
67 fixed rate mortgage
68 accident attorney
69 conference calling
70 sub prime mortgage leads
71 home improvement loans
72 domain hosting
73 defense attorney
74 credit card 0 apr
75 data recovery
76 credit card merchant account
77 credit card acceptance
78 injury lawyer
79 currency trading
80 mortgage leads
81 merchant credit card
82 business intelligence
83 injury attorney
84 network marketing software
85 sales leads
86 online college degree
87 leads lists
88 mba online degree
89 debt counseling
90 malpractice attorneys
91 debt management
92 domain web hosting
93 crm software
94 edi software
95 credit card service
96 lawyers malpractice
97 cheap web hosting
98 web content management tool
99 Chicago medical malpractice
100 ecommerce web hosting
101 mortgage rate
102 subprime mortgage leads
103 mortgage rates
104 balance transfer credit card
105 safeco insurance
106 annuity leads
107 mortgage leads for sale
108 attorneys medical malpractice
109 debt consolidation leads
110 stock trading online
111 inexpensive web hosting
112 web content management software
113 virtual web hosting
114 credit card processor
115 life insurance
116 medigap insurance
117 web hosting reseller
118 hosting
119 california mortgage
120 orlando medical malpractice
121 online trading
122 crm online
123 special finance leads
124 direct mail lists
125 asbestos lung cancer
126 business sales leads
127 debt free
128 asset management software
129 debt solution
130 low interest credit card
131 card credit debt
132 exclusive mortgage leads
133 whole life insurance
134 mortgage interest rate
135 discount web hosting
136 debt relief
137 lawyer houston
138 online associate degree
139 web site content management
140 lawyers medical malpractice
141 credit card machine
142 orange county search engine optimization
143 wireless credit card
144 adjustable rate mortgage
145 asset management technology
146 debt help
147 online bachelor degree
148 duplication dvd
149 mortgage
150 automotive direct mail

Google Search

2007-04-07T11:12:00.000-07:00

Do you Know how to Google?

Do you really know how to do it ?!

Do you think that there is nothing more than typing some text and than press Search?

Google Toolbar

2007-04-05T01:03:00.000-07:00

New! Custom buttons
You can add buttons to your Toolbar that will let you visit and search your favorite websites and keep up with interesting feeds. Our Button Gallery offers a selection of ready-made buttons for popular sites, and you can make your own buttons in seconds by right-clicking in the search box on any site and selecting "Generate Custom Search..." Start making your own buttons.

New! Send To
You can use your Google Toolbar to share web pages via email, text message (SMS), or blog. To share an entire page, select from the Toolbar's "Send To" menu; to share an excerpt, simply select the section of the page you want to share before clicking "Send To."

Note: sending text messages via the Google Toolbar is free. Your cell phone carrier, however, may charge a fee to receive messages, on either a monthly or per-message basis. SMS is only available from within the United States.

New! Google Docs & Spreadsheets
With the Google Docs & Spreadsheets feature enabled in the Google Toolbar, you can open most popular file types right in your browser. Google Docs & Spreadsheets will display these files in a new browser window when you either drag the file icon into your browser, click a link to a file on a web page, or double-click on a file icon. Enable this feature from the "Options" menu of your Toolbar.

Get it here

SMF - Forum

2007-04-05T00:28:00.001-07:00

Simple Machines Forum (abbreviated as SMF) is a freeware internet forum script. The script is written in PHP and uses a MySQL database backend, although multi-database support is being developed for the next major release It is being developed by the Simple Machines development team.

Joomla

2007-04-05T00:27:00.002-07:00

Joomla!

Joomla! is a free, open source content management system written with PHP for publishing content on the world wide web and intranets, using the MySQL database. Joomla! includes features such as page caching to improve performance, RSS feeds, printable versions of pages, news flashes, blogs, polls, website searching, and language internationalization. Joomla! is licensed under the GPL.

Open Source

2007-04-05T00:27:00.001-07:00

Open source is a development method for software that harnesses the power of distributed peer review and transparency of process. The promise of open source is better quality, higher reliability, more flexibility, lower cost, and an end to predatory vendor lock-in.

You'll find more on Opne source Softwares and other stuff in the coming days.

Microsoft Paint vs Photoshop

2007-04-05T00:26:00.004-07:00

Paint is a drawing tool you can use to create simple or elaborate drawings. These drawings can be either black-and-white or color, and can be saved as bitmap files. You can print your drawing, use it for your desktop background, or paste it into another document. You can even use Paint to view and edit scanned photos.

You can also use Paint to work with pictures, such as .jpg, .gif, or .bmp files. You can paste a Paint picture into another document you've created, or use it as your desktop background.

but there is something more....

See what can you do with just MS Paint (even if 98% of the people think it sucks ==> This video is a response to those people)

April Fool's Day & Google

2007-04-05T00:26:00.003-07:00

This year the winner of the best prank is absolutely Google.

No one could ever immagine such a serious giant in internet Advertising would ever do this kind of joke.

For the ones that didn't use Gmail the 1st of April 2007:

New! Introducing Gmail Paper

Everyone loves Gmail. But not everyone loves email, or the digital era. What ever happened to stamps, filing cabinets, and the mailman? Well, you asked for it, and it’s here. We’re bringing it back.

A New Button
Now in Gmail, you can request a physical copy of any message with the click of a button, and we'll send it to you in the mail.

Simplicity Squared
Google will print all messages instantly and prepare them for delivery. Allow 2-4 business days for a parcel to arrive via post.

Total Control
A stack of Gmail Paper arrives in a box at your doorstep, and it’s yours to keep forever. You can read it, sort it, search it, touch it. Or even move it to the trash—the real trash. (Recycling is encouraged.)

Keep it Secret, Keep it Safe
Google takes privacy very seriously. But once your email is physically in your hands, it's as secure as you want to make it.

Learn more about Gmail Paper

It seems OK. Now?

Even a section at Google Help

Is it free?

Yes. The cost of postage is offset with the help of relevant, targeted, unobtrusive advertisements, which will appear on the back of your Gmail Paper prints in red, bold, 36 pt Helvetica. No pop-ups, no flashy animations—these are physically impossible in the paper medium.

How about attachments?

All part of the deal. Photo attachments are printed on high-quality, glossy photo paper, and secured to your Gmail Paper with a paper clip. MP3 and WAV files will not be printed. We recommend maintaining copies of your non-paper Gmail in these cases.

Is there a limit?

You can make us print one, one thousand, or one hundred thousand of your emails. It’s whatever seems reasonable to you.

But what about the environment?

Not a problem. Gmail Paper is made out of 96% post-consumer organic soybean sputum, and thus, actually helps the environment. For every Gmail Paper we produce, the environment gets incrementally healthier.

Beta User Testimonials

	“Gmail Paper is a scrapbooker's dream. I paper archive all of my son's emails, cut them out in creative shapes, and paste them in my binders.” Anna-Christina D., Lifecoach

	“I've always felt uneasy about the whole internet thing. With the help of Gmail Paper, now I'm taking matters back into my own hands, literally.” Kevin S., CEO AdventaStar Inc.

	"Now that I have Gmail Paper, I understand the difference between labels and folders. I had one message with two labels, but when I tried to stick the paper version into two filing cabinets at the same time, it just wouldn’t go." Mayumi M., Associate

	"It's paper, plain and easy. I sometimes find myself wondering: what will Google think of next? Cardboard?" Bill K., Armchair Futurist

Google is fun thats why I love it.

How To make a Internet Explorer prank! (video)

2007-04-05T00:26:00.001-07:00

Its an easy thing to do! Nothing will harm or damage your Pc in any way.

Requirement: Windows XP.

See the video for the entire process.

First you create a shorcut for the shutdown application.

Enter the code: Shutdown -s -f -t 30 -c "Please use the Shutdown Tool"

You can change dhe time set. In the example it is 30 seconds.
You can change even the message.

Than you create another shortcut, to prevent your Pc from shuting down. If you run the first application dhe system will shut down, but if you run the second application the Pc won't shutdown.

You can change the icon. Epecially that of the first application, change to the Internet Explorer icon. So when somebody will try connet to the internet using this icon the system will shutdown (In the message tell them to run the second application do this won't happen)

Fake IQ Test

2007-04-05T00:25:00.003-07:00

An Intelligence Quotient (IQ) indicates a person's mental abilities relative to others of approximately the same age. Everyone has hundreds of specific mental abilities; some can be measured accurately and are reliable predictors of academic and financial success.

A lot of people are teking these tests everyday!
So let your friends take the one we have selected for you.
Whatever your friend scores, the result will be "You are an Idiot".

So send this URL to your friends email: http://www.IQTestForFree.com

Increase Traffic

2007-04-05T00:25:00.001-07:00

Things to do to get more traffic to your website or blog

Optimize your site (SEO = Search Engine Optimization)
Get your site listed in directories
Get listed in search engines
Get links to your site. Buy links to your site. Exchange links.
Create an RSS feed.
Give away free stuff. People love it. FREE is the name of the game.
Refer This Our Web Site To A Friend. Ask your visitors to refer your web site to a friend(s). Best build a "tell-to-a-friend form".
Start a blog and submit it to the 100’s of free blog directories
Comment regularly on similar blogs
Write and submit articles to the article directories.
Post in forums and have a link to your site in your signature.
Start a page on social bookmarking sites such as www.MySpace.com
Submit a viral video to www.Youtube.com
Start your own newsletter or ezine.
Make a custom 404 error page for your website redirecting people to your home page.

Sortcuts 4 Firefox

2007-04-05T00:24:00.001-07:00

Windows Keyboard Shortcuts for Mozilla Firefox

Ctrl + A	Select all text on a webpage
Ctrl + B	Open the Bookmarks sidebar
Ctrl + C	Copy the selected text to the Windows clipboard
Ctrl + D	Bookmark the current webpage
Ctrl + F	Find text within the current webpage
Ctrl + G	Find more text within the same webpage
Ctrl + H	Opens the webpage History sidebar
Ctrl + I	Open the Bookmarks sidebar
Ctrl + J	Opens the Download Dialogue Box
Ctrl + K	Places the cursor in the Web Search box ready to type your search
Ctrl + L	Places the cursor into the URL box ready to type a website address
Ctrl + M	Opens your mail program (if you have one) to create a new email message
Ctrl + N	Opens a new Firefox window
Ctrl + O	Open a local file
Ctrl + P	Print the current webpage
Ctrl +R	Reloads the current webpage
Ctrl + S	Save the current webpage on your PC
Ctrl + T	Opens a new Firefox Tab
Ctrl + U	View the page source of the current webpage
Ctrl + V	Paste the contents of the Windows clipboard
Ctrl + W	Closes the current Firefox Tab or Window (if more than one tab is open)
Ctrl + X	Cut the selected text
Ctrl + Z	Undo the last action

Mozilla Firefox ®

2007-04-05T00:23:00.000-07:00

Make your online experience even better.

Firefox® 2.0 - the award-winning browser

The outstanding features of Firefox 2.0 are really convincing. More and more users have decided to use the new version. The consistent favourable appearance is rounded off by the Google toolbar which makes internet searches even easier.

Firefox® turns surfing into an adventure. No doubt thanks to the integrated pop-up blocker and warnings in the case of unsafe web sites. Quick thanks to slim structure. Stable thanks to tested processes. You too can get to know the many advantages of Firefox®. You needn't uninstall your current browser in order to do so. You can use all browsers parallel to one another and therefore you can take your time in getting your own impression of the outstanding features of the Firefox® browser. By the way later updates for the Firefox® browser can be easily installed over the old version. It couldn't be easier.

Welcome

2006-11-24T06:14:00.000-08:00

Here you'll find tips and triks for everything you ever needed!

The content matters. Nothing else. If you are looking for a nice designed blog, feel free to leave this one.

KEEP IT SIMPLE